You’ll probably notice that men tend to sit widely, with their legs open, and women tend to sit with their legs crossed or together.
Why is this? Obviously women aren’t born with the instinct to sit with their legs together, nor are men born with the instinct to sit with their legs apart. It’s socialization.
The ways in which we sit are gendered (like pretty much everything else that we do) and is something we learn through observation, or perhaps even direct education. Have you ever had someone tell you to “sit like a lady?” That’s socialization.
When you hear your mom talk about how fat she is or your uncle make a sexist joke; when you see diet pill commercials on television or listen to your babysitter call someone a slut – these instances don’t just go over your head, as many people like to believe. In reality, you’re taking in these messages.
And although one of these moments might not seem like it can make much of an impact, thousands of them will — and do.
These messages will not only become a part of how you think and perceive the world, but how you think and perceive yourself.
That is, in short, how internalized misogyny becomes an involuntary part of your thinking."
White feminists hijacked feminism and erased misogynoir (misogyny and and racism as it is experienced exclusively by black women) and sexist racism from the equation by claiming that specifically identifying parts of sexism that effect women of colour and how white women benefit from patriarchy over women of colour is just “dividing” the issue. Meanwhile, whit women continued to benefit from systemtic racism and sexism against women of colour while women of colour were thrown under the bus. Not to mention the feminist movements violent history of racism toward black men.
Radical feminists also have a long and brutal history of transmisogyny (transphobia and misogyny as it is experienced exclusively by trans women) by denying trans women the right to exist and forcing them into dangerous social conditions to keep cis women comfortable in their cissexism. The feminist movement was hijacked away from trans women, much like the queer rights movement was, to make white/cishet people more comfortable, and allow white women and cis queers to continue to benefit from their privilege.
Also, google is your friend.
When I was a teenager, I was very critical of feminism too. I was a white girl, about to grow up into a world of white privilege, and I didn’t see the point. Then, the workplace discrimination started happening, then the sexual harassment, then the assaults, then the catcalls, then the condescension from men who weren’t as smart or accomplished as me, the sports coach who was too friendly, the male mentor with other intentions, the drunk male friend who won’t leave the room after the party so you can sleep, the car horns blaring, the groping: it all started happening at about the age of fifteen. I started realising that there was a large portion of the population to whom I was as good as chattel: I was an object to be acted upon.
I also started realising that I’ve been a female misogynist my whole life, and had a lot of unlearning to do too. Change starts with eliminating the noxious parts of yourself you have internalised during socialisation in a misogynistic culture. Feminism isn’t just about stopping the abuse of women by men, it’s about stopping the abuse we do to ourselves and others by genuinely beginning to believe we deserve to be treated as less than human."
We tell our sons to “HAVE FUN” but we tell our daughters to “BE SAFE”
We live in a society that’s sexist in ways it doesn’t understand. One of the consequences is that men are extremely sensitive to being criticized by women. I think it threatens them in a very primal way, and male privilege makes them feel free to lash out.
This is why women are socialized to carefully dance around these issues, disagreeing with men in an extremely gentle manner. Not because women are nicer creatures than men. But because our very survival can depend on it."
The whole article sadly hits very close to home.
And the more I think about it, the more real it becomes. Mulan spends virtually the whole movie concealing her sex, but projecting her physical and mental prowess all while having to listen to locker-room talk that depicts women as subservient and passive (most prevalent in all the musical numbers) – and for the audience, this is a great source of humor and dramatic irony. What resolves this irony in the end is that Mulan leads the effort that defeats the Huns and saves the emperor and China; therefore, she overcomes gender stereotypes and proves the worth of women in a society that demeans their existence to nothing more than child-bearing and domestic servitude.
Or rather, this might resolve the irony if she accepted the importance and validity of her actions. But instead, Mulan declines the emperor’s offer for her to live in the palace and consult with him in making significant military decisions; she opts to return to her domestic lifestyle because she’s “been away from home long enough.” She’s had her fill of adventure and showing her capabilities, now it’s time to go home where she can return to normalcy and forget her vocational hiatus. When Mulan sees her father at home, he lovingly welcomes her back into the family; she gives him the only tokens she has of her deeds as if to say, “Here, daddy, take my sword and medal – I don’t need them anymore considering the fact that I’m done playing dress-up and am ready to take my rightful place in society. And, after all, you’re the patriarch; it’s only right that I hand over my symbols of dominance to you!”“When Mulan sees her father at home, he lovingly welcomes her back into the family; she gives him the only tokens she has of her deeds as if to say, “Here, daddy, take my sword and medal – I don’t need them anymore considering the fact that I’m done playing dress-up and am ready to take my rightful place in society. And, after all, you’re the patriarch; it’s only right that I hand over my symbols of dominance to you!””
Aaaand this is what you get when you view asian myths and characters from a western perspective. Filial piety and respect becomes submission and deference. Throwing us under the bus and saying we’re weak because they don’t understand our culture. Smh.
Don’t make our stories about something they’re not. Mulan was never meant to be your girl power, stickin’ it to the world, white feminist hero and I don’t appreciate such liberties being taken with her.
#hah remember when white feminists were all over mako mori because they didn’t get the concept of filial piety?#yeah
Ugh yeah I get pissed off by that. And the thing is, that this kind of display of filial piety is SO FAR REMOVED from ‘submissive femininity’, because it’s usually the son’s role.
white feminism is so annoying uggggggh
Um?? Mulan does accept the validity of her actions: she takes back the tokens — the sword and the medal — home to bring honor and glory to the family name. Which is something that someone mentioned above, typically the duty of a son.
Also, like, it would actually be out of character if she stayed with the emperor at the end because that’s not filial piety. And Mulan is nothing if not the ultimate story of filial piety, and filial piety does not mean deference and submissiveness. It’s love, respect, and honor to the parents. It’s appreciating them for bringing you into this world and raising you and respecting them.
Like, in the beginning, she wants to be a good bride because she doesn’t want to disappoint her parents and family. She goes to war because she wants to save her father’s life. She declines the emperor’s offer and goes home because she misses her parents and doesn’t want to worry and upset them more. You’re completely misreading the ending scene if you think it’s her being submissive: it’s not ‘daughter giving symbols of her deeds of valor and worth to patriarch’. It’s ‘daughter gives symbols of her filial piety to father’. Also it’s her father acknowledging her deeds and saying that he’s so proud of her and loves her. And he doesn’t really care that she saved China. He’s touched that she risked her life to save his.
In essence —- FUCK WHITE FEMINISM AND THEIR WESTERN LENSES ON ASIAN CULTURE. Stop shitting on Mulan and saying it isn’t feminist or revolutionary just because you don’t understand it.
Also, my fellow Asian feminists should watch the opera version of Mulan because it’s riddled with a bunch of awesome symbols and it’s super feminist and revolutionary and beautiful and I 10/10 recommend. You can find it on Youtube I think. I remember looking up Mulan Ge Zai Xi when I was 13 and watching it in its entirety and being in complete awe.
she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts
she’s cheer captain and I respect her right to wear whatever she wants and participate in traditionally ‘feminine’ activities because I understand that life is not about condemning another woman’s personal choices just because she doesn’t ‘deserve’ the boy i have a crush on
that’s incorrect, the correct lyrics are “and I’m on the bleachers”
That’s the radio edit.
I’m on the bleachers
Watching her cos she is super hot and kind of making me question my sexuality even though we both like the same boy which is even more confusing maybe they are interested in a threesome oh wait I am cripplingly shy.
• a transphobic woman is not a feminist
• a racist woman is not a feminist
• a homophobic woman is not a feminist
• exclusionary feminism is not feminism
A bigoted feminist is a feminist, just a shitty feminist that needs to be called out. Don’t you dare write off the bigotry within our own movement as “not real feminism” and therefore “not our problem”, it needs to be rooted out just as much as it does from the rest of society.
Gonna keep a tally of messages I get from a) white feminists completely proving my point and b) people who think this comic proves feminism is worthless because I criticized one part of it. (Even despite me writing these words underneath the comic.) Then I’ll add them all up, see which column has more, and then drink myself to sleep either way.
Haha… this is why we can’t have nice things.
It has to be something we create and purchase for. Art by women, design by women, architecture by women, books by women, comics by women, magazines by women, and writing and art that does not support bad old stereotypes. And not just women of your own color. Trans women, LBQ women, WoallCs. Experiment. Venture. Try.
Don’t trash talk other women; talk them up. Support women who have been victimized. Don’t be part of the problem. Disagree, yes, but with respect. If other women behave badly, walk away.
Normalize fat women’s bodies. Normalize public breastfeeding. Normalize home births and midwives and reproductive autonomy. Normalize body hair on women.
Reject the notion that women are to be regulated and controlled and pressured to conform to societal standards.
By the 1900s, women had been campaigning for the right to vote for nearly half a century. In 1903, the Women’s Social and Political Union (WSPU) was founded in Manchester, breathing new life into the suffragette movement and fighting for the rights of all women, regardless of their nationality.
Although British women were perceived as the weaker sex, they were also labelled as morally superior to men, making them the logical choice to raise children and care for the home. Inevitably, feminists were accused of neglecting their nurturing duties during their public struggle for equality. Their response to this was to find a cause that would emphasise their moral high ground, giving them a plausible reason to fight for their rights.
Asian women filled this niche.
During this tumultuous time and at the height of British colonisation, many Asian women found themselves adrift within British society. Most had entered the country on ships employed by English families as ayahs (nannies) and, once they’d served their few weeks at sea, were dismissed, expected to survive on their own. Securing passage back to India was seasonal and often difficult especially during wartime, leaving hundreds of young women stranded far from home.
Many British high society feminists voiced concerns for their Indian sisters, regarding them as passive victims. Their mission was to rescue these perceived objects of pity and misfortune. This concept was not limited to the stranded ayahs in Britain but was generalised to include the oppressed women still in Asia.
A gradual change in this compassionate but superior attitude came about as Asian women grew stronger and more outspoken, not only in Britain but also in India. By 1905, Asian women were emerging to show public support of various political activities and the exploitation of women and their traditional roles were challenged.
Reporter: So, why do you write these strong female characters?
Joss Whedon: Because you’re still asking me that question.
The question should be “Why do you write seemingly strong women and then punish them for that strength?” I see a lot of characters in this set who got shit on by Joss not to mention at least one actress he fired for the crime of getting pregnant.
A friend of mine likes to challenge “Joss Whedon, Feminist” acolytes to name a female character on Buffy who doesn’t die or go crazy.
I feel like this game could be expanded to find lead female characters who don’t die, go crazy, or lose a loved one in a gruesome way as part of their suffering. Bonus points if they get to the end without anyone threatening to rape them or trying to rape them. There has to be at least one right?
If we include those, we may as well be playing bingo. Joss Whedon’s female characters’ punishments: collect them all!
Who gets mind wiped? Who gets beaten? Who watches everything she ever loved burn? It’s a game for all ages! Bonus points for the ones who die without ever having gotten to live!
I might have feelings about Kendra. A lot of them.
Goddamit, and now I feel compelled to do an actual tally of his original female characters, albeit offhand and from memory. So:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy - two deaths, one rape threat, one attempted rape, two sexual assaults, one dead parent.
Willow - one rape threat, two breaks with sanity, one dead girlfriend.
Cordelia - damselled about a billion times, one attempted forced marriage.
Anya - one rape threat, dead.
Tara - dead.
Kendra - dead.
Faith - multiple breaks with sanity.
Ms Calender - dead.
Joyce - dead.
Dawn - one attempted forced marriage, one dead parent.
Darla - dead.
Drusilla - multiple breaks with sanity.
Cordelia - two forced impregnations, at least one sexual assault, at least one attempted rape, dead.
Fred - one attempted rape, multiple breaks with sanity, dead.
Lilah - one rape threat, dead.
Darla - multiple breaks with sanity, dead.
Drusilla - multiple breaks with sanity.
Illyria - multiple breaks with sanity.
Faith - multiple breaks with sanity.
Kaylee - one rape threat.
River - multiple breaks with sanity.
Zoe - one dead husband.
Inara - one threat of sexual assault.
As none of the Actives are capable of informed consent, pretty much every sexual interaction they have while on assignment constitutes rape or assault, even though the narrative only flags Sierra’s experiences as such. So, yeah. Also, I never saw S2, so can’t speak to what happened at that point.
Reblogging again for commentary.
fuck Joss Whedon
We forgot the multiple references to Inara by the “hero” as “whore,” and Kendra’s posturing as Slayer “sex slave”.
Um, gals? Geez, I’m all for critically examining portrayals of females in media, but there are so many things off with this thread. For one thing, you have no set definition of what constitutes a badly-written female character here and are constantly moving the goalposts, counting everything from death to mental troubles to attempted rape to attempted forced marriage to insults because of the character’s occupation to the character’s SO dying? (Hey, remember all those stories where women regularly get fridged so a male character can be broken up about it? Why on Earth would it be a bad thing for the reverse to happen for a change?)
And all of that with very little context. I’ve only seen Firefly (and Dollhouse, but it’s been ages and I don’t remember much) so I’ll comment on that, but Inara being called a whore? Really? This is in the setting where prostitution has been legalised and (government-educated) prostitutes are considered the cream of the crop in terms of social standing. Mal is literally the only character, (aside from the jackass villain in Shindig) to have such a backwater view of Inara’s profession. She gives him shit about it, the rest of the cast gives him shit about it, at no point are his views portrayed as anything but a buffoon’s.
And say what you will about Kaylee’s threatened rape scene, but it was written 300% more true to life than the vast majority of them. It was entirely an exercise of power by an ice-cold, calculating, psychopathic headhunter who did it for no other reason than to chain her up a lot more securely than he could with physical restraints. It wasn’t bullshit about uncontrollable lust and desire for sex, it had nothing to do with the way she was dressed or was acting, it was used as a weapon just the way it’s so often used in real life, a tool to punish and control women and chain them up.
And hell, if you’re going to mention Zoe and how her husband dies and leaves her morning, you’re also gonna have to mention the fact that he, you know, dies. And the part where he and Mal get tortured. And the two separate occasions when Simon gets shot, And the part where Book gets shot on one occasion, and dies on another. Or the part where Mal gets stabbed repeatedly with a sword.
Yes, rape and threats thereof is still something that happens to female characters (although I actually can’t remember any apart from where it was threatened with Kaylee) and that’s a problem, and unrealistic to boot, but sometimes, a long list of violent shit happening to female characters is more indicative of the setting and plot being gruesome and violent and less of the treatment of women specifically.
And I haven’t watched Buffy, but with the titular character and a big portion of the ever-changing main cast being women… it’s a long-running show with the premise of fighting supernatural shit. I kind of doubt the female characters there go through worse shit than the main cast of Supernatural during its run and the incessant cycle of death, resurrection, horrific trauma, characters going darkside and crazy, characters losing everyone they care about, characters being tortured in literal Hell for decades. Yes, the rape thing is still exclusively female, but even SPN veers in that direction with Sam and Ruby. (I say ‘veers’ because it’s not really acknowledge on screen as noncon, clearly any sex you have with your drug dealer when you’re a junkie is dubcon at best.)
There’s a lot of room for improvement, but Whedon still writes realistic and diverse female characters, not the hundreds of cookie-cutter sexy badass killer Ms. Fanservice “strong female characters” the rest of the industry is intent on serving us. Again, I’m only really familiar with Firefly, but the points made against it here seem so utterly removed from context and missing the aspect that it’s a genre thing rather than specifically a female thing. To wit, it’s unscientific.
On the subject of SPN and rape: there have been several occasions where Dean has drawn the unwanted sexual desires of the Bad Guy. I can’t recall all of them, but I think there was an interview somewhere that stated that they’ve done that on purpose with him several times? Hell if I can remember where that is either, though, so I could be mistaken. Either way, one of the main dudes suffers multiple rape threats.
Now that you mention it… actually, yeah, and not just threats. I forget his name - Alastair, I think? The demon who tortures Dean in Hell makes some very thinly-veiled references to sexually assaulting him in that time, too, and the same goes for Sam and Lucifer during their time in the cage.