HEY. LOOK WHAT MY SISTER MADE FOR ME FOR CHRISTMAS.
You heard it here first, Tumblr.
I WILL GIVE MY FIRST BORN CHILD AND A SCARF TO WHOMSOEVER CAN GIVE ME A RELIABLE SOURCE THAT CONFIRMS THIS IS HAPPENING
yes it is true because NBC Universal is taking down all the videos for it
now about that first born child…
Anecdotal evidence does not a source make. I want a link and a summary in MLA format on my desk by tomorrow morning.
NO FUCKING WAY HOLY SHIT IT’S GONNA BE AN ANIMATED MOVIE????????
things i need: modern day reinterpretation of greek mythology where artemis turns men who street harass women into stags and turns them out into the woods during hunting season ʘ‿ʘ
#and aphrodite turns those who are shitty to the ones who love them into frogs#and hera helps women who need to find a.place for an abortion or birth control bc every woman deserves to choose when to start a family #and hestia protects those who are unsafe in their own homes #and athena gives strength and support to the women who are treated unfairly in the workplace, in the military, in just about anywhere (lycaonthropy)
i was thinking about troll halloween and accidentally made an origin story for candy corn probably
Angewomon!!!!! #youmacon #digimon #angewomon
MY FRIEND GOT A FUCKING SHINY FENNEKIN AS HER STARTER WITH NO SOFT RESETS GODDAMMIT
broooer replied to your post: things i want from a wizarding movie set in 1920’s…I am desperately sitting here going “latino wizards give me south american wizards of all sorts”
yeah seriously tell us how wizardry’s done in the new world tell me how the wizards from france and spain and britain stamped out the brujos and the medicine men and set up their own schools tell me what the fuck the british raj did to fucking india because the patel twins are going to school in scotland and what are they told about their history, tell me about native american kids learning to say wingardium leviosa with hate in their hearts and tell me about wizarding rabbis bickering about whether you can use potions on the sabbath tell me about the slaves on their ships with their wands broken, mouthing curses in the dark tell me about the runaways that made it with garter snakes wrapped around their wrists that told them when they tasted dogs in the distance, tell me about the underground railroad and abolitionists with unbreakable vows and home-spun invisibility cloaks and disilusionments, using obliviate, using imperio, knowing that they served a higher justice, tell me about what happened to black wizards in the fifties, about what gates they were storming in the sixties tell me about queer wizards taking love potions every morning in their coffee to stay married to their husbands and their wives because what else could they do?
the world only begins and ends with straight white christians if you don’t bother looking any farther than that and too many people don’t and i am tired, tired, tired
Give me wizards that learned to swallow their rage when the kaffir came and plundered their lands and enslaved the minds of their people; give me the Queen of Ophir and Kinabalu, slowly fenced in by jungle and scorn of their “more civilized” kin; give me those that inherited the Saka, who can become tigers and bears at will and yet are classified as “Beasts”; give me wizards who left the Kingdom when the demon opium ate their lands and Heaven’s Mandate flayed open by low cunning and base treachery; give me a people that had to learn to hide not only from the mundane world but from their “superior” brethren, lest they be “taken in” for “re-education”; give me a Ministry of Magic that ruled a land that made it a goal to make all those that practiced their magic poor copies of their colonial masters; give me all of that and not a magical people who ran away and did not suffer with their people, because how cowardly is that? How base is that? Where were you when they were flaying us alive? Who suffered with us? Is this your fight? Or are wizards all the same inside?
Give me a Caribbean where the indentured Indian servants mixed or didn’t mix with the descendants of black slaves; the latter having held out piece meal to this and that former tribal practice, a little changed here and there, a little influenced bit by the oppressors wizardy and by Christianity.
Give me words that shifted, that only sounded like Latin, but weren’t. Give me secret training. Give me the Maroons in the mountains of Jamaica working with the now claimed to be ‘wild’ beings of the heights.
I want to see a modern representation where spells have one hindu word, two latin, a third half forgotten African tribal word for tribe ‘A’ with the fourth half forgotten tribal word for tribe ‘B’; Igbo and Yoruba and more.
I want to know the story of the islands that got passed like marbles from the Spanish, the English, the Portuguese and the French.
I want to see the unique magic system developed from that, when mixed with obeah and voudoo and tens of bits of lore of folkmagic.
I want to hear how the Caribbean doesn’t really believe, perhaps ‘In The Dark Arts’ - not the way the Europeans do. And how that would make them distrusted enough that Caribbean peoples, once Independence came, would forsake Hogwarts and Beauxbatons in droves for Durmstrang — before finally pulling back and creating their own school…. in the Bermuda Triangle; where escaped slaves and indigeous people, fled or were tossed overboard and found refuage; a place with magic so strong, so laced in pain and blood and loss and desperate need for survial, that it messes with muggle technology and colonial wizard a like.
Give me a tropical magical campus that only accepts being found and attended due to what’s in your blood; the tangled lines of Taino, African, East and South East Asian, Indigenous South American amidst the colonizers seed. A campus with a spell that traces your family lines in your veins.
Give me scenes of Caribbean wizards, dropping a piece of after birth first on the land and then on the ocean and whispering an enchantment and THAT is how you ‘go down in the book’ for Sargasso; the name that stuck when before it’d simply been ‘The School’ or ‘The Place’.
A school where the European named ‘Squibs’ and magical blooded alike attend to learn the basics of their past and their history; who they are, where they come from.
Where some people; some muggles; know who to go to for herbs and healing and who to go to for hexes and other help but outside the community no one’s ever quite sure if the person they’re going to has the power or just the knowledge.
Show me 17 different types of mermaids. Show me the community created when mer-magic mixed with weeping family members waking up from fever in slave ships and finding people gone - tossed overboard and frantically whispering spells. Show me the Defenders of the Triangle and why the lines of space are always moving.
Show me the hint of mer-magic in those walking the limestone halls of Sargasso too.
Show me the secret of past shipwrecks; the fish tailed pirates, and dark skinned bold scavengers, wrecking what trade they could; freeing some, getting supplies from others.
Where are the tales of Caribbean Ani-Magi? Schools of porpoise and dolphins that are actual classrooms on field trips? Flocks of squawking parrots and scarlet ibis?
Show me a place where parseltongue has a different name and is quite, quite common - as are those who speak to spiders; Anansispeech.
I want tales of appearing and disappearing islands, of storm witches, of Soucoyah as rebel fighters; of colonial identifying descendants grasping at duppy magic and what happens when the wrestled enslaved dead say no more.
Yeah, there’s a whole WORLD of magic, Rowling never touched.
I’ve heard there was a secret chord
That Striders made, and it pleased the Lord
But you don’t really care for time junk, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king croaking Hallelujah
Your beats were strong but you needed proof
You saw her dreaming on the roof
Her beauty in the moonlight called straight to you
She tied you up in granddad’s lair,
Broke your seams, ruffled your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Harley I have been here before
I know this star, I’ve walked meteors
I used to live with Bro before I knew you.
I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not some Prospitian march
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah
There was a time when you let me know
More emotion than I could ever show
But now you never give it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved with you
The Strider dream was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
Maybe there’s a God above
But all I’ve ever learned from love
Was how to ignore someone who outcooled you
It’s not the scars you can see at night
It’s not Rose with her searing light
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah
You say that maybe you’re to blame
I didn’t even know your name
But if I did, well, really, what’s it to you?
There’s John and then ‘rezi’s last word
It doesn’t matter to me which you heard
But I think I’m singing the broken Hallelujah
Did my best, sorry it wasn’t much
Couldn’t feel you, so I tried to touch
I’ve told the truth, I didn’t come to fool you
And even though I’ve lost my rhymes
I’ll stand before the Lord of Time
With nothing on my lips but Hallelujah
If this beautiful little gem doesn’t make you Tumblr famous, I’m gonna be pissed. It’s perfect and you’re amazing.
I kinda want to do a recording for this now…
Don’t believe me…? Well…….
In conclusion, I am happy to say fandom that I, Eren Jaeger am being endorsed by Dove. //shot
The long awaited UPDATE! Eren received a package in the mail today. I wonder who it is from…
Thanks so much for being a Dove fan! We wanted to send you a few items to help feel great! Hope to chat again with you soon!
The Dove Team